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Love Your Church

8 Great Things About Being a Church Member

Tony Merida

Why Read This

Deep, committed church membership is not obligation — it is the God-designed context for flourishing.

The things that annoy you most about your church — the messy people, the inconvenient commitments, the unpolished programs — are precisely the things God uses to shape your character. Merida challenges the modern tendency to church-hop and makes the case for committed, imperfect community.

Pillar: Faith Theme: Serve Read: ~10 min
10 Insights Worth the Read

The Book in Bullets

Everything Merida wants you to walk away with

1

Church membership is not a transaction — it is a covenantal commitment to a specific body of people.

You're not subscribing to a service you can cancel when it stops meeting your preferences. You're binding yourself to a community for their growth and yours, through comfort and difficulty alike. This is how God designed spiritual formation to work.

2

The question to ask at church is not what you're getting but what you're giving.

Consumerism produces shallow attachment. Contribution produces formation and genuine community. When you shift from evaluating the experience to investing in the people, everything about your church life changes.

3

The things that annoy you most about your church are precisely what God uses to shape your character.

Messy people, inconvenient commitments, unpolished programs — these aren't bugs, they're features. Sanctification happens in friction, not in comfort. The perfect church doesn't exist, and if it did, you'd ruin it by joining.

4

Seven marks of a healthy member: belonging, word, prayer, ordinances, fellowship, service, and witness.

These aren't a checklist for judgment but checkpoints for intentional growth. Each one represents an area where you can move from passive to active, from consumer to contributor, from spectator to participant.

5

Church-hopping based on preferences is the enemy of spiritual depth.

The modern tendency to leave when things get uncomfortable guarantees you'll never experience the kind of growth that only comes through staying. Depth requires duration. You can't build deep relationships or deep character in a place you might leave next month.

6

Moving from attendance to investment is the single biggest shift a church member can make.

Sitting in the back row wondering why it all feels hollow is the natural consequence of consuming without contributing. Investment means using your gifts, serving in unglamorous roles, and caring about people whose names you've learned.

7

The church is not a building or a program — it is the people of God on mission together.

When you love your church, you love the people in it — with all their flaws, struggles, and annoying habits. The institution exists to serve the relationships, not the other way around.

8

Committed community is the engine of spiritual growth — not podcasts, not books, not solo devotions.

Personal disciplines matter, but they were never meant to replace the irreplaceable context of shared life. Iron sharpens iron. You need people who know you well enough to speak truth and love you enough to stay.

9

Your church doesn't need your criticism — it needs your prayer, your service, and your presence.

It's easy to identify what's wrong from the outside. It's much harder — and much more Christlike — to roll up your sleeves and help fix it from the inside. The church improves when its members invest, not when they evaluate from a distance.

10

You were not made to do faith alone — and the local church, for all its imperfections, is God's plan A.

There is no plan B. The church is the bride of Christ, the body through which he works in the world. Loving your church — your specific, imperfect, local church — is one of the most countercultural and rewarding commitments you can make.

These notes are inspired by direct excerpts and woven together into a readable guide you can follow from start to finish.

Love Your Church: 8 Great Things About Being a Church Member

By Tony Merida


Introduction: What Your Church Is

This book has a straightforward agenda: to help you love Jesus and his church—and to know how to love your church. Every time you walk into your church’s large or small gatherings, you can say of your fellow believers, “All of these people are our family.” Some of you may be tempted to add “Unfortunately…”—and that, too, illustrates the church. Every church has people who are difficult to love. You may be one of them from time to time.

When you get adopted, you get a new family. And the church is a family of adopted brothers and sisters (Galatians 4:4-7; Romans 8:12-17). When you come to faith in Christ, you get not only a new relationship with your Father but new family members too (1 Timothy 3:15; 5:1-2; Galatians 6:10).

Definition

“The household of God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth” (1 Timothy 3:15).

God purchased the church with his own blood (Acts 20:28). Jesus so identifies with his church that when Paul persecuted believers, Jesus asked, “Why are you persecuting me?” (Acts 9:4; 22:7). To persecute the church is to persecute Christ himself.

This book draws your attention to eight key responsibilities of church members—each also a privilege: belonging to a local church, practicing hospitality, valuing corporate worship, caring for one another, serving the body with spiritual gifts, relating well to pastors, bearing individual witness, and impacting communities and the world as a local church.

Key Insight

Many love the idea of the church but don’t actually have fellowship with real believers in a local church. Recapturing the New Testament’s vision of Christ’s church helps us love our church as Christ calls us to.

Chapter 1: Belonging — A Gospel-centered Family

God has given you a need for community—and he has given you the place where that need is met: the church. He gives you a place where you belong; now you need to commit to belonging.

Definition

Belonging to a church means investing your life in a gospel-centered community of believers who joyfully serve one another and advance Jesus’ mission together.

The church is a local community of believers who gather for worship and scatter for witness. They share life together centered on Jesus for the good of one another and for the good of the world. The Bible knows nothing of isolated, “lone ranger” Christianity.

Four Obstacles to Biblical Community

Four Obstacles to Biblical Community
🎆
Sensationalism
Being captivated by hype, drama, and platform personalities rather than ordinary faithfulness in a local church.
🔮
Mysticism
Expecting private spiritual intensity while neglecting embodied life with the church family.
🧠
Idealism
Loving an imagined perfect community more than real, imperfect people in front of you.
🧍
Individualism
Settling for shallow connections and digital substitutes instead of face-to-face covenant community.
Action Steps
  • Elevate your concept of the church. Don't treat it as unimportant, unnecessary, or a hindrance to real discipleship.
  • Identify yourself with a local church and embrace accountability, discipline, and pastoral oversight.
  • Remember belonging is a privilege—locally, globally, and eternally.
  • Pray for your church regularly: its people, leaders, and mission.

Chapter 2: Welcoming — Grace-centered Hospitality

We’re tempted to show partiality based on appearance, accent, age, affluence, ancestry, affinity, or achievement. James exposes this partiality plainly (James 2:2-4): honoring the wealthy while marginalizing the poor is evil judgment.

Ask yourself what your instinct is toward people unlike you: “Sit by us,” or “Let’s move somewhere else”? Welcoming church members move toward those who are different.

Four Reasons to Welcome Without Partiality

  1. Partiality doesn’t reflect God’s grace (2:5a).
    God has chosen many of the poor to be rich in faith.
  2. Partiality doesn’t reflect God’s kingdom (2:5b-7).
    In God’s kingdom, earthly status is overturned.
  3. Partiality doesn’t reflect God’s royal law (2:8-12).
    The law of love forbids discriminating against neighbors, including strangers and enemies.
  4. Partiality doesn’t reflect God’s mercy toward us (2:13).
    Those shown mercy in Christ must be merciful toward others.

There are still many ways churches dishonor the poor today: failing to plant in poorer areas, relocating away from need, devaluing poor believers’ voices, and limiting opportunities for training and leadership.

Principle

Your proper response to the grace shown toward you in Christ is the extension of grace to others. Hearts shaped by gospel grace become welcoming, hospitable, and generous.

Action Steps
  • Reflect regularly on how Christ welcomed you; extend that same warmth to others.
  • Ask God to reveal pride and prejudice; repent quickly and specifically.
  • Treat the alone person in your gathering as an urgent priority.
  • Attend worship as a minister, not a consumer—look for ways to serve through hospitality.
  • Practice hospitality as a reflection of God's character and the gospel story.

Chapter 3: Gathering — Valuing the Corporate Meeting

Hebrews calls believers not to neglect meeting together, but to assemble regularly and encourage one another (Hebrews 10:25). You have a role in gathered worship: not just receiving, but strengthening others.

How to Sit Well Under the Teaching of God’s Word

How to Sit Under the Word
How to Sit Under the Word
Step 1: Listen humbly
Receive Scripture with meekness; sit under it, don't stand over it.
Step 2: Listen intently
Fight distraction; stay alert and present.
Step 3: Listen biblically
Engage with your Bible like the Bereans (Acts 17).
Step 4: Listen personally
Come to be addressed by God, not to critique the preacher.
Step 5: Listen obediently
Be ready not only to hear but to do.
Step 6: Listen practically
Name specific applications for your week.
Step 7: Listen gratefully
Thank God that he speaks to his people.
Key Insight

We know these things. The question is: do we do them?

Singing Together

Paul’s instructions on singing (Ephesians 5:18-20; Colossians 3:16) emphasize both variety—psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs—and sincerity of heart. Corporate singing is ministry to God and to one another.

Principle

If someone watched you sing, would they believe from your expression that you trust what you’re declaring? Let the answer be yes.

Action Steps
  • Recognize that you need your church, and your church needs you.
  • Sanctify Saturday nights with rest, prayer, and preparation.
  • Build joyful Sunday traditions that make gathered worship special.

Chapter 4: Caring — Displaying the Fruit of the Spirit

One of the most remarked-upon aspects of the early church was how believers cared for one another. The New Testament’s repeated “one another” commands form a compelling vision of practical church life.

The 'One Another' Vision
  • Love one another; honor one another; serve one another.
  • Instruct, encourage, and pray for one another.
  • Bear burdens, confess sins, and do good to one another.
  • Show hospitality and humility toward one another.
Key Insight

Paul moves from the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5) directly into church care (Galatians 6). Spirit-filled life is not mainly spectacle; it is sustained, relational faithfulness.

The “One Another” Passages

The New Testament repeatedly calls believers to actively love, honor, instruct, encourage, confess, pray, bear burdens, and do good to one another.

The Galatians 6 Pattern of Care

Restore the Fallen

Galatians 6:1 calls spiritual people to restore those caught in sin with gentleness. Restoration may be painful, like setting a dislocated bone, but it is healing pain aimed at repentance and renewal.

Bear One Another’s Burdens

You are called to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), while still carrying your own load (Galatians 6:5). Churches must distinguish between ordinary responsibilities and crushing burdens requiring help.

Definition — Burdens vs. Loads

“Load” points to ordinary personal responsibility. “Burden” points to heavier realities that often require family-like support from the church body.

Share with Those Who Teach

Galatians 6:6 teaches that those taught the word should share good things with teachers. Supporting faithful teachers is part of advancing the gospel through sustained proclamation.

Sowing to the Spirit

Personal holiness affects community health. Sowing to the Spirit yields life; sowing to the flesh yields corruption. Private habits are never merely private in church life.

Principle

You never really sin in isolation, and you never really pursue holiness in isolation either—both always affect others.

Do Good to Everyone

Caring is costly and tiring. Galatians 6:9-10 urges believers to keep doing good without giving up, especially toward the household of faith.

The Character of the Restorer

Restorers must act spiritually, gently, and watchfully—aware of their own vulnerability to temptation and committed to humble, non-hypocritical care.

Not Growing Weary of Doing Good

Caring is costly and tiring. Galatians 6:9-10 urges believers to keep doing good without giving up, especially toward the household of faith.

Action Steps
  • Actively restore, bear burdens, share resources, and do good.
  • Treat care for sinners and sufferers as whole-church ministry.
  • Create margin in your schedule for listening, prayer, and help.
  • Cultivate holy habits and put unholy habits to death.
  • Plan weekly acts of practical goodness toward others.
  • Pray that your church would be known for love.

Chapter 5: Serving — Using the Gifts of the Spirit for the Good of the Body

As a Christian, you shouldn’t think of your church as “the place where I listen to sermons” but as “the place where I serve.” Listening to sermons is important, but members are contributors to ministry rather than consumers of ministry.

Scripture gives three motivations for service: God’s mercy, the Spirit’s gifts, and the Son’s return.

Motivation 1: God’s Mercy

When you look clearly at God’s mercy toward you, offering yourself to him is the reasonable response. Romans 12 calls believers to resist conformity, renew the mind, and live consecrated lives that discern and do God’s will.

Key Insight

Ponder what you deserve: judgment. Ponder what you’ve received: salvation. Mercy should produce worshipful service.

Motivation 2: The Spirit’s Gifts

Paul points to both speaking gifts and serving gifts, and he emphasizes the heart posture beneath the action.

  • Speaking gifts: Teaching and exhorting for the building up of the church.
  • Serving gifts: Practical service, generosity, leadership, and mercy offered with zeal and gladness.

Identifying and Using Your Gifts

Paul implies at least two pathways for discernment:

  1. Self-examination — what kinds of ministry you naturally notice, enjoy, and can carry out with increasing faithfulness.
  2. Experience — trying a variety of ministry opportunities often reveals spiritual aptitudes more clearly than theory.
Principle

Don’t limit service only to what you are best at. Serve in your gifting, but don’t neglect ordinary acts of obedience that every Christian is called to practice.

Motivation 3: The Son’s Return

In 1 Peter 4:7–11, Christ’s nearness produces sober prayer, earnest love, hospitality, and gift-based service—not panic or withdrawal.

Key Insight

The end is near: pray, love deeply, practice hospitality, and serve. Faithful service is often ordinary and unseen.

Action List
  • Dwell deeply on gospel mercy so service flows from gratitude, not guilt.
  • Move from consuming Christian content to practicing Christian obedience.
  • Use preaching, baptism, and the Lord's Supper to cultivate a servant-hearted life.
  • Be a servant, not a critic: welcome, give, host, help, and volunteer in concrete ways.
  • Stay aware of church needs through announcements and communication.
  • Serve with gladness; joyful service glorifies God.

Chapter 6: Honoring — Following Humble Shepherds

Given public failures by some leaders, honoring pastors can feel difficult. Scripture, however, distinguishes false leaders from faithful shepherds and calls believers to honor the latter while rejecting the former.

What to Expect from a Pastor

Pastors are not CEOs or power managers. Biblical leadership emphasizes holiness, humility, and servant-hearted oversight. The New Testament pattern also includes a plurality of elders.

Pastoral Leadership in 1 Peter 5
Pastoral Leadership in 1 Peter 5
Step 1: The Task
Shepherd the flock: know, lead, protect, and feed the sheep with faithful oversight.
Step 2: The Heart
Serve willingly and eagerly, not for gain, ego, or control; be an example to the flock.
Step 3: The Reward
The Chief Shepherd, Jesus, will reward faithful shepherds; pastors are sheep too.

How Members Should Relate to Pastors

  1. Respect faithful pastors for their labor and doctrine.
  2. Love your pastors with warm affection.
  3. Follow their example where their lives reflect Christ.
  4. Be a joy to pastor through unity, generosity, and mission-minded participation.
  5. Pray for your pastors consistently.
Principle

Elders are not beyond correction. Biblical humility rejects both hyper-critical suspicion and practical infallibility.

Action List
  • Respect pastors by listening well and refusing rumors or backbiting.
  • Show concrete love through encouragement and acts of kindness.
  • Express specific gratitude for teaching and example.
  • Be easy to shepherd: serve, encourage, give, and promote unity.
  • Pray for pastors personally, with family, and with other members.

Chapter 7: Witnessing — Doing Good Deeds and Sharing the Good News

“If you build it, they will come” is not a faithful evangelism strategy. Most people come because someone loved them enough to invite and engage them personally. Evangelism belongs to the whole church.

Key Insight

Evangelism is first about the heart before method. We naturally speak about what we love, treasure, and hope in.

Three Priorities for Faithful Witnesses

  1. Practical goodness — good deeds should accompany gospel words.
  2. Christ-centered reverence — fear of people is displaced by reverence for Christ.
  3. Daily readiness — “always” and “anyone” call for ordinary, ongoing gospel availability.
Principle

Peter emphasizes defending your hope, not merely winning arguments. Hope in Christ makes witness compelling, especially under suffering.

Making Your Witness Come Alive

Jesus did not use one canned script with everyone. Paul calls believers to gracious, context-aware speech. Faithful witness should be truthful and alive—not mechanical.

Network Evangelism

Network evangelism is a lifestyle of gospel intentionality in your existing relational web.

Relational Networks
👨‍👩‍👧
Familial
People in your family.
🏘️
Geographical
People in your neighborhood.
💼
Vocational
People at your workplace.
Recreational
People you play with and spend free time with.
🛍️
Commercial
People you see regularly in shops and day-to-day errands.

After identifying people in these networks, pursue a simple pattern: pray for them by name, invite them into ordinary life, serve practical needs, share helpful resources, and share the gospel personally.

Action List
  • Identify names in each network and pray daily for their salvation.
  • Practice visible faith through integrity and practical love.
  • Speak winsomely and personally so people hear both truth and grace.

Chapter 8: Sending — Continuing the Mission and Planting Healthy Churches

You are part of the ongoing story of God gathering a people for himself. As you trace the gospel from Jerusalem to your local church, you can marvel at God’s faithfulness and join his mission with courage.

Key Insight

Acts ends with a cliffhanger because the story continues. The church today is still living out that mission story.

The Antioch church modeled both identity and mercy: believers identified with Christ publicly and met practical needs sacrificially.

Principle

In missionary sending, avoid both individualism (lone-ranger mission) and institutionalism (cold bureaucracy). The biblical pattern is Spirit-directed missionaries sent and supported by churches.

Action List
  • Reject isolation and engage your culture with wisdom and courage.
  • Be an encourager like Barnabas when you see grace at work.
  • Let Christ's mercy fuel sacrificial mercy ministry.
  • Participate in church planting through prayer, giving, support, or going.

Conclusion: A Vision of Your Church

The church is not peripheral to God’s plan but central to it. Local church life gives a foretaste of coming glory as God’s people gather to worship the Redeemer.

God has given your church as the place where you are formed by Word and sacrament, where you respond in song, prayer, and service, and where spiritual family shares both joy and sorrow.

Key Insight

Pursue faithfulness to Christ and his church today: belong, welcome, gather, care, serve, honor, witness, and send. The Lord of the church loves you with an undying love—so love your church.