Introduction — What Your Church Is
Tony Merida is a pastor in Raleigh, North Carolina, and he’s upfront about his agenda. He wants people to love Jesus and his church, and to know how to love their own church. That’s it.
Every time we walk into a church gathering, we can look around and say, “All of these people are our family.” Some of us say the same thing at family reunions, only with a sigh: “Unfortunately, all of these people are our family.” That fits the church too. Every church has people who are hard to love, and you may be one of them from time to time. Every church has its crazy uncles and wild brothers and sisters. If you want proof it’s always been this way, read Paul’s letters to the church in Corinth. But that’s the church. When we come to faith in Christ, God adopts us. We don’t only get a new Father. We get a whole family of brothers and sisters.
That family matters deeply to God. Paul told the church leaders in Ephesus that God bought the church “with his own blood.” And look at how closely Jesus ties himself to his people. Before Paul became an apostle, he was a man named Saul who hunted down Christians and dragged them to prison. On the road to Damascus, a light from heaven knocked him to the ground, and a voice asked, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” Saul had never laid a hand on Jesus. He’d been attacking the church. In that moment he learned that Jesus is alive, and that to attack the church is to attack him.
Yet many people love the idea of the church without belonging to a real one. They follow church news online and even give pastors advice, but they’re missing in action. So Merida walks through eight things every church member is called to do. Each one is a responsibility, and each one is a privilege. We belong. We welcome. We gather. We care. We serve. We honor our pastors. We witness. And we send.
Chapter 1 — Belonging: A Gospel-centered Family
God made us with a need for community, and he gave us the place where that need is met: the church. He gives us a place to belong. Now we need to commit to belonging. That means investing your life in a group of believers who build everything on the good news about Jesus, gladly serve one another, and carry out his mission together.
The church is a local group of believers who gather for worship and scatter for witness. The Bible knows nothing of “lone ranger” Christianity. Paul wrote that Jesus gave himself “to purify for himself a people for his own possession.” He died for a people, not a scattered crowd of individuals. Every picture the Bible uses for the church says the same thing. We’re stones in one temple, members of one family, citizens of one kingdom, and parts of one body.
Merida names four things that get in the way of that life together. The first is sensationalism. Some Christians only get excited about the dramatic: huge conferences, someone else’s pastor, or the latest controversy. Caring for the elderly, helping a single mom, or working in the nursery doesn’t make headlines. But if we actually lived those things out, they’d turn the world upside down.
The second is mysticism. Some people picture life in the Spirit as private, miraculous experiences. But if you want to meet Jesus in a deep, life-changing way, you don’t need a perch in the desert. You need a pew in a church.
The third is idealism. Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German pastor who trained young ministers in a secret seminary under the Nazis. In his book Life Together, he warned about the “wish dream,” our picture of what church ought to be. “He who loves his dream of community more than the community itself,” he wrote, “becomes a destroyer of the latter.” Real life together will have highs and lows, frustration and disappointment. We have to rethink our expectations and press on together as forgiven sinners.
The fourth is individualism. Many of us know lots of people but go deep with very few. During one season, Merida spent two straight weeks on video calls and came out sick of screens. He kept thinking of a line from the apostle John: “I would rather not use paper and ink. Instead I hope to come to you and talk face to face, so that our joy may be complete.” Texts and calls have their place. But they’re poor substitutes for being in the same room.
So think more highly of the church. It’s imperfect, but you can’t follow Jesus faithfully without it. If you call yourself a Christian but aren’t part of a local church, you’re not following the New Testament pattern. And never forget what a gift it is. Around the world, you stand with everyone who confesses that Jesus is Lord. And one day you’ll join all of God’s people from every age singing “Worthy is the Lamb.” Belonging is where it starts. What comes next is opening the doors to others.
Chapter 2 — Welcoming: Grace-centered Hospitality
Every church is tempted to play favorites. We lean toward people based on how they look, how they talk, how old they are, how much money they have, or what they’ve achieved. James, the brother of Jesus, wrote to the first Christians about a rich man in fine clothes and a poor man in shabby clothes walking into the same meeting. The church gives the rich man a good seat and tells the poor man to stand in the back or sit on the floor. “Have you not then made distinctions among yourselves,” James asks, “and become judges with evil thoughts?”
So ask yourself how you respond to people who are different from you. Is your first instinct “Come sit by us” or “Let’s go sit by them”? Or is it “I hope they sit somewhere else”?
God is a good Father, so he doesn’t only give commands. He gives reasons. James offers four. First, playing favorites doesn’t reflect God’s grace. God has chosen many of the poor to be “rich in faith,” and in the early church the gospel was spreading fastest among people on the edges of society.
Second, it doesn’t reflect God’s kingdom. The poor are “heirs of the kingdom,” where everything gets turned upside down. There will be surprises on the last day. We may find that a poor custodian or a struggling single mother receives more honor than a big-name pastor.
Third, it doesn’t reflect God’s “royal law” to love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus taught that our neighbors include foreigners and even enemies. So we can’t turn away anyone who walks through our doors, no matter where they’re from or what they’re like.
Fourth, it doesn’t reflect God’s mercy toward us. James warns, “Judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy.” It’s Jesus’ promise, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy,” turned inside out. The right response to the grace we’ve received is to pass it on. People who let the gospel sink deep into their hearts become welcoming, generous, and joyful.
Picture a church that greets every guest with words like these: “To all who are weary and need rest. To all who mourn and long for comfort. To all who sin and need a Savior. This church opens wide her doors in the name of Jesus, the friend of sinners.”
To become that kind of church, think often about how gently Christ welcomed you, and welcome others the same way. On Sundays, watch for anyone standing alone. The author Rebecca McLaughlin shared three simple rules for church: “An alone person in our gathering is an emergency. Friends can wait. Introduce a newcomer to someone else.” Don’t come as a consumer watching a show. Come eager to welcome, and think about joining the greeting team or the nursery. And most of that welcome happens in the weekly gathering itself.
Chapter 3 — Gathering: Valuing the Corporate Meeting
The book of Hebrews tells Christians not to neglect meeting together, “as is the habit of some,” but to keep “encouraging one another.” Notice that you have a job to do when you get there. Don’t just sit and soak. Come ready to encourage your brothers and sisters, to seek God, to confess sin, and to welcome guests.
A big part of the gathering is hearing God’s word preached, and there’s a way to listen well. Listen humbly. We don’t stand over the Bible and critique it. We sit under it and let it teach us and change us. Listen with your Bible open, like the people in Berea, who checked what Paul taught against the Scriptures. Listen for yourself, not for the person you wish were hearing it. Don’t come to grade the sermon. Come ready for God to speak to you. And listen with a plan to obey. Think about how the message should change your week. Most of us already know all this. The real question is whether we do it.
The other big part of the gathering is singing. Paul told two churches to sing “psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs,” and both times he pointed to the heart. So here’s a question worth asking. If someone watched you sing on Sunday, would they think you believed what you were singing? Let the answer be yes.
Our question shouldn’t be “Should we go to church this week?” It should be “How can we make the most of it?” You need your church, and your church needs you. If you’re hit-or-miss on Sundays, your spiritual health will feel it. And your absence doesn’t help your brothers and sisters, who need your voice, your prayers, and your joy.
So get ready the night before. Get some sleep on Saturday night, pray with your family, and maybe read Sunday’s sermon passage together at dinner. Then make the day itself special. After church, do something you save just for that day: a certain meal, a long nap, lunch with friends, or a walk in the park. If you have kids, make those afternoons so enjoyable that they look back on them with delight. Build holy and happy habits around the day you worship together. And when the service ends, the life of the church keeps going in how we care for each other through the week.
Chapter 4 — Caring: Displaying the Fruit of the Spirit
In the early centuries, one of the things outsiders noticed most about Christians was how they cared for one another. The writer Tertullian recorded pagans saying, “See how they love one another!” If someone watched your church today, what would they say? Would it be “See how they gossip about one another”? Or “See how polite they are, without really caring”?
The New Testament is full of “one another” commands. Love one another. Bear one another’s burdens. Confess your sins to one another. There are dozens of them. They set a high bar, but they also paint an exciting picture of what a church could be.
Paul’s letter to the Galatians shows what that care looks like. First he describes the fruit of the Spirit, like love, patience, kindness, and gentleness. Then he goes straight into how a church should care for its people. That order is no accident. The Spirit-filled life isn’t mostly about dramatic miracles or private experiences. It’s about ordinary Christians living in joyful devotion to Christ and to each other.
Paul starts with a person caught in sin: “You who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.” When someone falls, they need a brother or sister to come alongside and help them get free. The pastor Tim Keller pointed out that the word “restore” was used for setting a dislocated bone. A bone out of place hurts, and putting it back hurts too. But it’s a healing pain. So restoring someone may mean confronting them, always aiming for a changed heart.
Some people push back. Didn’t Jesus say, “Judge not”? He did. But then he said, “First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Deal with your own heart first, and then act. And when you act, be gentle and careful. Paul warns, “Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” Don’t put yourself above the other person, and don’t walk into the same trap while pulling them out.
Next Paul turns to someone weighed down by hardship: “Bear one another’s burdens.” That’s a daily mission for all of us. Watch for other people’s burdens, and help make them lighter. But Paul also says “each will have to bear his own load,” and there’s a difference. Getting up for work on time is my load. If I lose my job and end up in need, that’s a burden I may need help carrying. Losing someone you love to cancer is a burden. And if you’re the one carrying a burden, tell someone. Sometimes people don’t help simply because they don’t know.
Paul also reminds us that our private lives affect everyone around us. We never really sin alone. “Whatever one sows, that will he also reap.” If you plant mustard seeds, don’t expect peppers. The books you read, the people you spend time with, the things you do for fun, and the things you dwell on are all seeds. Are they planted for the flesh, or for the Spirit?
Caring is tiring. That’s why Paul says, “Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” So keep planting, keep loving, and look for chances to do good. That won’t happen by accident. You can’t be wrapped up in yourself and care for someone else at the same time.
Love acts. John wrote, “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. Let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” Look at your calendar. If there’s no room for listening, praying, and helping people who are struggling, make some. Merida has a friend who plans his week every Sunday night, and part of that plan is finding ways to surprise people with kindness. Caring for each other is one way we build each other up. Serving with our gifts is another.
Chapter 5 — Serving: Using the Gifts of the Spirit for the Good of the Body
Don’t think of your church as the place where you listen to sermons. Think of it as the place where you serve. Church members are contributors, not consumers. Merida offers three reasons to serve, whether you’re just starting or growing tired: God’s mercy, the Spirit’s gifts, and the Son’s return.
Start with God’s mercy. Paul opens Romans 12 with this: “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice.” When you take a hard look at God’s mercy to you, giving yourself back to him is the only reasonable response. It’s as if we climb into the offering plate ourselves. Think about what you deserve: judgment. Then think about what he gave you instead: salvation. That’s the fuel for a life of glad service.
The second reason is the Spirit’s gifts. In the same chapter, Paul lists gifts like teaching, encouraging, giving, leading, and showing mercy. And he tells us how to use them: give generously, lead eagerly, and show mercy cheerfully. God cares about the heart behind our service, not just the service. That was his point to the Corinthians too. His famous chapter on love, the one we read at weddings, was first written to Christians who were using their gifts to show off instead of to serve.
So how do you find your gift? Keller suggests two ways. First, ask honest questions. What do I enjoy doing? Am I any good at it? What problems do I notice most? Second, try things. “It is best to try all kinds of ministry,” he says, “as a way to learn your spiritual aptitudes.” But should you only serve where you’re gifted? No. Serving in your gifts brings more fruit and more joy, but every Christian is still called to the basics. You may not have the gift of mercy, but we’re all called to show mercy. So if you’re serving somewhere you’re not especially gifted, don’t let it bother you. See it as an act of love.
The third reason is the Son’s return. Peter wrote, “The end of all things is at hand.” Talk about the end times often pushes people to wild extremes. But Peter’s advice is ordinary. The end is near, so pray. The end is near, so love. The end is near, so serve. If you believe Jesus will come back and reward those who served him, let that move you now. When you hear him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant,” you’ll be glad you did.
Some people call this the information age, but it won’t be called the application age. Many Christians know a lot of Bible verses and aren’t serving anyone. Go wash feet. Be a servant, not a critic. Welcome a new family, set up chairs, or take a meal to an older member.
And do it gladly. When Merida gives his wife a nice birthday gift and she asks why, he doesn’t say, “Because I had to.” That wouldn’t honor her. What honors her is “It was my pleasure. There’s no one like you.” In the same way, a cheerful heart shows your love for God and brings him glory. Among the people we serve are the ones who lead us, which brings us to our pastors.
Chapter 6 — Honoring: Following Humble Shepherds
Many people have been hurt by church leaders who abused their power. So if you bristle at a chapter about honoring pastors, that’s understandable. But the Bible shows us both bad leaders and good ones. Paul warned against leaders who cause divisions, and he also wrote often about faithful pastors. We’re called to honor the faithful ones.
A faithful pastor serves willingly and lives a holy life. Most of the Bible’s qualifications for pastors are about character, not skills. He leads like Jesus, as a humble servant. He won’t be perfect. But the pattern of his life should be marked by joy, holiness, and humility.
John Stott is a good picture of this. He was a pastor in London and one of the most influential Christian leaders of the twentieth century. A reporter once listed his achievements, from top honors at Cambridge to chaplain to the Queen, and asked, “What is your ambition now?” Stott answered, “To be more like Jesus.” For him that wasn’t a Sunday school answer. It was how he lived. Once, he and his friend René Padilla arrived in Argentina late at night in the pouring rain and ended up covered in mud. The next morning, Padilla woke to find Stott cleaning Padilla’s shoes. When Padilla objected, Stott said, “My dear René, Jesus told us to wash one another’s feet. Today we do not wash feet the way people did in Jesus’ day, but I can clean your shoes.”
Some people see a pastor as a CEO or a general. But a worldly picture of leadership only leads to disappointment. Peter gives a better one. A pastor’s task is to “shepherd the flock of God,” which means knowing, leading, protecting, and feeding the sheep. His heart should be willing and eager, not greedy, and he shouldn’t be “domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.” Christian leadership isn’t about being the boss. It’s about laying down your life and inviting others to follow you as you follow Jesus. And his reward comes when “the chief Shepherd appears.” Jesus is the real senior pastor. Shepherds are sheep too, and they need his grace as much as anyone.
Honoring your pastors doesn’t mean they’re always right. Paul once had to confront Peter to his face. If the apostles had blind spots, pastors today do too. So you can raise concerns. Just do it humbly, not harshly. Some people challenge their leaders on everything. Others treat them as if they can’t be wrong. Humility walks between the two.
So how do you honor faithful pastors? Respect them, and refuse to join in rumors and backbiting. Love them warmly, not from a distance. Follow their example. Hebrews says, “Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith.” And be a joy to pastor, so they can do their work “with joy and not with groaning.” Show up, volunteer, avoid gossip, and tell them you’re grateful. Don’t take the approach of “I told you ‘good sermon’ your first week, and I’ll let you know if I change my mind.” Send a card or say a word on your way out the door. The more specific, the better.
Most of all, pray for them. There’s nothing better you can do for a pastor. When someone asked the great London preacher Charles Spurgeon for the secret of his ministry, he said, “My people pray for me.” One of the biggest encouragements Merida hears is “Our kids prayed for you before bed.” Those prayers bless the pastor, and they bless the people praying too. A church that loves its pastors well is ready to turn outward toward people who don’t yet know Jesus.
Chapter 7 — Witnessing: Doing Good Deeds and Sharing the Good News
”If you build it, they will come” is the famous line from the movie Field of Dreams. It’s a good movie, but it’s a terrible plan for reaching people. Most people who don’t believe have no interest in coming to church, no matter how hip the pastor looks. The people who do show up are almost always there because someone brought them. Sharing the gospel isn’t a job for pastors alone. It belongs to all of God’s people.
Some believers have taken classes and memorized presentations, and they still never talk to anyone about Jesus. That’s because evangelism is first about the heart, not the method. The how-to matters, but what’s usually missing is the want-to. Think about a young woman who just got engaged. She shows off the ring. She shows everyone pictures of her fiancé. She starts planning the wedding and shopping for a dress. Nobody has to guilt her into talking about him. She wants to. Guilt won’t make us share our faith, but beauty will, and so will hope, love, and awe. We talk about what we love.
Peter wrote his first letter to Christians facing suspicion and hostility from their neighbors. His world was different from ours, but he gives three priorities for every witness: practical goodness, reverence for Christ, and daily readiness.
First, practical goodness. We tell the good news, and we do good. Social media makes it easy to rant about every issue, but Peter’s emphasis isn’t on arguing. It’s on living a beautiful life in front of a watching world. Many Christians know how to answer questions about the faith but don’t know how to start a conversation. Peter’s answer is simple. Do good to people. Live such an attractive life that people start asking.
Second, reverence for Christ. Fear keeps us quiet. It stops us from inviting someone to dinner or going deeper into the gospel. So Peter says, “Have no fear of them, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy.” The way to fear people less is to revere Jesus more.
Third, daily readiness. Peter goes on: “always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.” Two small words are easy to miss: always and anyone. It’s never a perfect day for evangelism. “I didn’t sleep well.” “I got in an argument with my spouse.” “This pollen is killing me.” Everyday evangelism says, “Game on.”
The word “defense” is the Greek word apologia, where we get “apologetics.” But Peter isn’t picturing a formal debate. He’s picturing ordinary conversations about our hope. In the Bible, hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s settled confidence in the glory that’s coming. That hope is so rare that people will ask about it, especially when they watch you suffer with confidence. You don’t need an answer for every deep question. You need a heart captivated by Jesus. Evangelism isn’t for elite, special-forces Christians. It’s for everyone who is full of hope.
Paul said to let your speech be “gracious, seasoned with salt,” which meant lively, even witty. Godliness isn’t the same as stodginess. So use your personality. If you’re quiet, use your gentle tone. If you’re funny, use your humor. If you’re great at hospitality, let your kindness melt your guests.
Merida calls this network evangelism. It’s a way of life among the people God has already put around you: your family, your neighbors, your coworkers, the people you play with, and the people you see at the shops. Pray for them. C. S. Lewis said, “I have two lists of names in my prayers, those for whose conversions I pray and those for whose conversions I give thanks.” Invite them to dinner. Serve them by watching their kids or helping with yard work. Share a book and talk about it. And look for moments to share the gospel. Everyone is evangelizing for something, whether it’s kale smoothies, CrossFit, or their favorite show. The gospel is too good to keep to ourselves.
Some people will believe, and some won’t. Some may even oppose you. Your call is to be faithful and leave the results to God. And what’s true for each of us one by one is also true for the whole church together.
Chapter 8 — Sending: Continuing the Mission and Planting Healthy Churches
Think about what a grand story you’re part of. Stop and marvel at how the gospel traveled from Jerusalem all the way to your church and to you. The book of Acts tells the story of the church’s birth in twenty-eight chapters, and then it ends abruptly. Paul is under house arrest in Rome, still preaching, and a lot of loose ends are never tied up. If a novel ended like that, you’d think your copy was missing a chapter. That’s the point. The story is still going. The church today is living out what you could call Acts 29, which is why the church-planting network Merida’s church belongs to goes by that name.
One church in Acts shows us how to keep that story going: the church in Antioch, a big city in Syria. It was there that believers were first called “Christians,” a name outsiders gave them. They were so identified with Jesus that their neighbors called them “little Christs.” And they didn’t keep their faith to themselves. When a famine was coming, they sent what they could to help believers in Judea. Later, as they worshiped and fasted, the Holy Spirit told them to set apart Barnabas and Saul for a special work. So they prayed, laid hands on them, and sent them out as missionaries.
That gives us two ways to follow their lead. The first is mercy ministry, meeting people’s needs through action. Look at the needs of this broken world, like orphans, widows, refugees, and the hungry, and give as you’re able. That kind of generosity shows the gospel has changed you.
The second is sending. We need to avoid two ditches. One is individualism, where Christians go off as lone-ranger missionaries. That’s not what happened in Antioch. The church confirmed the calling and kept supporting the people it sent. The other ditch is institutionalism, a mechanical process with no real prayer and no sense of the Spirit’s leading. The Antioch model is better: the Spirit directs, and the church sends and supports.
So be a Barnabas. His name means “son of encouragement,” and when he saw God at work in Antioch, he was glad and encouraged everyone. When you see God working through other believers, celebrate it and tell them. Get involved in church planting by praying, giving, supporting, or going. And stay open to the Spirit’s leading. He may give you the privilege of joining a church-planting team yourself.
Conclusion — A Vision of Your Church
We sometimes forget that the church is at the heart of God’s plan for the world. We forget what Christ did to have a bride for himself, and we forget how the church points to the future. In the book of Revelation, John sees a crowd no one can count, from every nation and language, standing before the throne and praising the Lamb. When your church gathers to praise our Redeemer, you get a small taste of that coming glory. The future is breaking into the present in your local church.
God gave you your church as the place to get that taste. It’s where the Bible, baptism, and the Lord’s Supper remind you of what Jesus has done, and shape you to be more like him. It’s where you answer his love with song and prayer and service. And it’s where you find a family who will share your joys and walk with you through the valleys.
So pursue faithfulness to Christ and his church today. Belong, welcome, gather, care, serve, honor, witness, and send. The Lord of the church loves you with an undying love. So love your church.